How to deal with Guilt

The book of life & death - part 32

In the scale of vibrations model of Hawkins, The frequency of guilt is calibrated at 30, Just above shame. In our passive aggressive society, We will be forced to experience small doses of guilt, whenever we are late for a meeting, fail to come to a family reunion, miss a deadline at work, or maybe we simply said something wrong just to regret it later. Those are temporary examples of mild guilt feelings that do not stretch much. We will eventually forget about it and continue our life without ever overthinking those minor incidents. However, a standard vibration of guilt is different. The 30 vibration is a constant guilt. In this case one experiences and perceives reality and life through the lenses of guilt. Such guilt is often induced by external authority like religions, when one fails to complete all rituals or act and behave according to the ideology. He will constantly be reminded of that by the surrounding environment up to the point that he will believe that there is something wrong with him. Standard guilt can also occur when somebody fails to save his family members from a devastating tragedy, or saving his comrades in the battlefield. Guilt is a form of an endless self-blame, the feeling that we could do something when we didn't, and the consequences are too hard to digest both emotionally and mentally. This incapacitating frequency will make people invest all their energy capacity in never ending remorse, leading them to live mentally only in the past.  This will make people to deny themselves from any activity that can potentially make them do the same mistakes, to the point of no social life or hope of happiness at all. 

Sometimes we take the vibrations of others as our own. There will be many of those who try to manipulate us to feel guilt about things they themselves did. Cowards blame their misdeeds on other people to assume pure. We must not comply with outside voices who want to shift the attention from themselves. Justifications like those will not work. People think that if they dig a hole for somebody, that will make them seem more elevated, but by the power of karma, they just dig this hole for themselves.

Feeling guilt and suffering will not solve our issues or karma. We have to comprehend what went wrong and what led to this guilt, and then change our thought process and behavior accordingly. The test will come and the success or failure will be judged by our actions. Truly, our own misdeeds can be a cause for guilt-flooded life, for any one of us was wrong at some point, but standard guilt is not the solution, but a way of giving up on getting better. We cannot control reality, but we can control how we perceive it. Of course, nihilism is not the answer as well. We should care and we should be accountable for our actions, however guilt brings us to a state of no action at all. It can paralyze people and make them believe that  they are the source of all that is bad in the world. Such can happen with abusive parents, bosses and teachers who hold themselves as a moral authority that can never be wrong, while the alleged guilty people are buying it. Guilt like this will rewire people's brains to believe that they are worthless and better to nod and comply, than to think independently in order to find the truth.

You can always change. Everyday is a new opportunity to get better. Nobody is paying karma more than he should. Even former criminals have a chance of changing their lives after they leave corrections facilities. The truth is that nothing stays the same. We are changing all the time, however guilt will compel you to believe that you will always stay the same. Allow yourself grief if you need to. Give yourself the chance to understand yourself and to process the inner pain. Allow new alternatives to enter your mind, and especially to welcome help from others who are willing to show you other paths of coping life. Some people will always try to discourage you from acting differently outside their own mental limitations, but you have to know that you are not a victim of life, but in the process of a great spiritual lesson.

Above all, you need to know how to forgive yourself. Blaming yourself will inevitably lead to never stopping feelings of Guilt. This is the most crucial thing to understand and practice in order to heal guilt. Practice self forgiveness every day, as much as forgiving others for their own misdeeds. The first step to forgive others is to forgive yourself.  

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